Mother's Day

It's has been a tough tough few weeks.   I think the effect of 4 kids is slowly catching up with us.    We are at the end of the school year, and it also means catching up with lessons, report cards, grading, final exams, music recitals, planning for summer and next school year.     Everyday, there is only one thought in my mind when I get up in the morning and go to bed at night - I am so tired.       We are cutting back on activities,  and making life as simple as possible, but still, life is so busy for us.       As we are wrapping up our school year, I do have a lot to think about.     Yan is quite behind this school year -   He is the one I left out the most, as I spent most of my free time (that's when Pearl is sleeping) with Yin Yin and Pui Pui, and counting on him to work independently.      Yan's reviewer stated in our mid-year review, "It's important to not have too many years in a row that homeschooling is not going well.".     This shook me as a reality check that we are probably taking on too much, more than what we can handle.         Of course, I keep telling myself,  it is because of our adoption and surgery this year and next year will be better.     I can give plenty of excuses to justify our "bad school year"....  but I realized it is really not about why, it is really about how - how we can homeschool effectively with a toddler, who needs my attention all the time, around.   It is irresponsible for us as parents to keep having "bad school year".   All of the sudden, we found ourselves facing this dilemma again - if we can't effectively help the children learn at home, we need to send them back to public school.

Did we take on too much? - I often think.   I refuse to accept the answer yes - just look at Pearl's smile.

On this Mother's Day week, I often think of this Chinese song:

世上只有媽媽好　
有媽的孩子像個寶

Isn't that true?    A child who has a mother is like a precious treasure.  To be Pearl's mother is very different.   I am much older and have less energy to play with her and care for her.   But I found myself more patient and calm and enjoy her so much more.      She often reminds me how God changed my life completely, adopted me to be His child forever, counted me as "holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation"(Colossians 1:22), even when sometimes I feel like I don't fit in. 

I can't look forward to our empty nest or relaxing retirement life when I know there are so much needs in the world, so many orphans need a family, a MaMa and Daddy who would love and protect them, and give them a chance in life.     Every time I saw boys and girls here with loving families, abundant food, cute and fancy brand name clothing, I can't help but thinking about those boys and girls in other parts of the world who were born with such disadvantage, didn't even have the basics and the protection they need.    How do we tell those children that God loves them?  

At the end of the day, after all the cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, school work, drop off, pick up, errands, vacuum, and sometimes preaching and yelling..... I lie on my bed and think, "I am so tired...... but... ....it will be fine tomorrow"...

Happy Mother's Day!

Pui Pui - You are the best big sister in the world, the best big sister any baby can ask for.   You often speak with such affectionate and gentle voice.    You often take over Pearl when you sensed that Mommy has reached my limit.    You taught your two older brothers how to change Pearl's diaper.     You climb into Pearl's crib to play with her when Mommy needs a quiet shower.     Every night before you go to bed, you check on Pearl, and make sure she doesn't sleep with her bottle in her mouth.   You feed her, you play with her, you teach her, you clean up her mess, you tidy up her toys, you pick up her shoes, pick up her socks, you care for her.   Two years ago, we dreamed of adoption together, we planned our adoption together, we committed into adoption together.   And now, we are in the adoption together, for better and for worst.     I can't ask for a better assistant, friend and encourager than you.   Mommy is forever grateful for you. 

Our little chicks - at our dear children's request, we bought 7 little chicks early last week.    Sam, Ben and Faith all wanted to raise chickens.  The funny thing is, our little Faith wanted these chicks as pet, Sam and Ben wanted the chicks for meat.......     Well, we will see how this dilemma resolve...... ha,ha....