It is one thing to read about blindness and blind people,it is totally different when I have a blind daughter myself. Everything I've read about blindness was all so true and has been very helpful. But I came to realized what I've read and learned about blind children was may be only about 10% of what our experience with Bethany is actually like. When Bethany and I were at the doctor's office yesterday, a teenage girl approached me. She had been intently watching Bethany. She later told me that Bethany is the first blind person she has met and commented that Bethany is so so cute. I smiled and thanked her for her kind praise. In my mind, I was thinking the same thing - actually, Bethany is the first blind person I've ever met too.
As we spend more and more time with Bethany, we began to understand more about her world and clues about her past. There are responses and behaviors that we couldn't understand but recently suddenly dawned on us. Bethany longs to learn about this pitch-dark world she was brought into, but is afraid to explore. She can hear it, she can smell it, she can touch it, but struggle to understand how everything comes to be. As much as she wants to learn about the world, she is yearning to be understood. Nobody seems to understand her perspective of this world, of what had just happened, of what she has just touched, of how she felt. With basically no expressive language, she struggles to ask or explain; so she remains silent.
As time goes by, we are seeing more and more of a different side of Bethany as she is becoming more familiar to her new world and more confident and outspoken. Bethany often said to me, out of the blue, "Mommy, I love you." Despite all the hard work, struggles, fear and frustrations, I don't know starting when, there is suddenly a joy that surpasses all of my understanding.
Bethany used to spend hours alone talking to herself if I let her. She still does that sometimes. But more and more, she would go look for Pearl and Ruth to play with them or ask to "watch TV"! Her favorite shows are Dora and Barney.
On one hot day, as we got into our family van, Bethany yelled from the back of the van, "It's hot! Mommy, it's hot! Turn on the AC!" We all cracked up. She is definitely becoming an American! :-)
Every time I worked on the computer, either Pearl or Ruth wanted to sit on my lap. I always told them that they can sit on my lap as long as they don't touch anything and "just watch". One afternoon, as I was working on my computer, Bethany came and asked to sit on my lap. As she climbed on my lap, she said, "I just watch". Ha,ha....
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| Playing choo-choo train at home. |
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| A friend kindly offered to let us use her beach house for free. We had a wonderful time at the beach. Thank you! |
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