Violin practice

It is funny that just a few days after I wrote about the kids violin lessons and felt pretty comfortable about their progress, I had a "head-on collision" with Ben during practice, one of the worst. Practicing music has been a major source of conflict between me and the kids. It's been the most humbling experience - like a mirror displaying my hidden anger, pride, longing for approval, selfishness and impatience. Through all these, I painfully realized how much I fall short of God's standard as parent. I always tell our kids I am the worst mom in the world, and I truly feel that I am. If they ever grow up to be "normal", it is all by God's grace.
Playing violin or not is really not important to me. It is really the potential(speaking from mom, of course) I see in them that I don't want to let go easily. All three of them are very musically inclined. It is all the "humps" that the kids need to get through before they can get there. I often found it hard and confusing to decide whether to "push them through the humps", or to let them get away from it and make life easier for him and for myself. I am not sure where the violin will take them, or how long they will stay on it, but like 1 Corinthians 3:7 says: "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.".